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Vital Stats

Or what you don't really need to know

Following these words may just be more information than you'd get if you just walked up to me on the street. Exerpts taken from a 1997 interview with Jocular Juxtaposition Magazine.
(The author reserves the right to embellish any or all of this text - the ed)

Okay, you asked for it - My Perfect Life:

JJM: How about starting with your birthday?
DLP: July 21st 1966, damn I'm getting old

JJM: You're what, nearly six foot tall?
DLP: More like five eleven. Somehow I grew a half inch between 1995 and 1996

JJM: That's odd. You know, you're a big guy
DLP: Yeah, I get that a lot. People I've just met ask if I play football. I don't. I don't even watch football. But I've got a big frame and, hey, I've even been doing a lot of jogging and working out in the gym (makes face)

JJM: I take it you don't like going to the gym
DLP: I never really did. It's real boring in there

JJM: Where were you born?
DLP: New Brunswick, New Jersey - that's right, I'm a joisey boy

JJM: Tell us about your family
DLP: Family life was always pretty weird, but I won't get into mom, dad, grandparents, brothers or sisters - they have their own private lives so I'll just leave them out of this

JJM: Okay then, how about immediate family?
DLP: Ah yes, I'm single but I dream of my own family. My wife, the former Kimberly Anika Janssen and our two daughters - Angela Marie and Gabrielle Renee - and our fabulous feline Fealthas

JJM: Fealthas would be the cat?
DLP: Yeah, he'd have this superiority complex, but the girls would adore him - so he'll stay
JJM: Sounds like the women would run the house
DLP: That's also why I'd keep the cat around; to even out the male/female ratio more, though he'd get away with more than I

JJM: How about your early life?
DLP: Okay, I grew up and spent many uneventful years in school. I don't remember doing a whole lot of homework but school wasn't hard. I graduated an honor student. That was a surprise.

JJM: Did you like school? Have a good time then?
DLP: A lot of people I know look back on the high school years with fond rememberance. I can't really say that. What I learned and remember didn't come from books (grin)

JJM: Girlfriend, huh?
DLP: Yeah. (laughs) Things were pretty boring until I met Linda, but I won't drag her into this either

JJM: Alright, we'll go somewhere else then. When did you decide on serving your country?
DLP: Well, I was a year and a half out of high school and was driving a delivery van while looking for a career opening when it hit me. No, not the van. An idea hit me. I'd been looking to get into a major airline and figured I'd try a big one - the Air Force

JJM: So you joined the Air Force because you wanted a particular job, and did you get it?
DLP: No. I was all ready to get the position that I waited since high school to get when an outside influence shoved another job in my face. It was one of my worst decisions and deserves no forgiveness. I did proceed into the Air Force and am continuing on.

JJM: Now, looking back, are you happy with how it all worked out?
DLP: Oh yeah. If things went differently I wouldn't have met all the people I have and been to all the neat places. I couldn't really imagine it being any different

JJM: What are your interests, hobbies and such?
DLP: Damn, there are so many things I'm into I couldn't name them all

JJM: How about just a short list of what ever comes to mind?
DLP: Okay, I'm game. I'm into computers kinda, comics, baseball, writing stories and poetry, reading fantasy - mostly Dragonlance or Ravenloft books, Magic: The Gathering, Advanced D&D...I'm basically a collector

JJM: You say you're a collector. What do you collect?
DLP: I'm a pack rat. I collect what ever catches my interest, like in comics. I never cared about comics and never thought I would until I saw an issue of Vengence of Vampirella. I read it and got hooked on the story and artwork. Then I started collecting Ghost, Lady Death, Razor, Purgatori, Warrior Nun: Areala, Gold Digger, and Catwoman . . . my favorites. I have a wide variety of things I collect.

JJM: Okay, last question - what type of music do you listen to?
DLP: I like pretty much all types, except rap. In my CD collection I have Mozart, Harry Connick Jr., Blondie, XTC, Amy Grant, LeAnn Rimes, Shania Twain, Meat Loaf and many more. When I'd DJ at 5RRR radio in Woomera, Australia I'd play a lot of early 80s New Wave type music, my favorite.

JJM: Thank you for your time
DLP: It's been my pleasure

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Copyright © 1995 Marla Bay Productions